Hello to all of my readers. I'm back!

Over the past few years, I have put aside this blog in the pursuit of other projects. I was raising children, writing for a variety of clients, and pursuing more education, but in the less formal spheres. I took a class on writing grants, graduated from Florida State's EBV-F program for military families pursuing businesses, attended both VWISE and Techstars Patriot Bootcamp, won a pitch contest, won a small grant, and FINALLY became a member of American Society of Journalists and Authors (ASJA). My new niche publishing business is up and running, Pocket Parks Publishing, and I am at work on the second guide in that series. I am also attending the upcoming Facebook Vets-In-Tech Hackathon next week and looking forward to presenting my idea for an app, an idea that went over pretty well at the Techstars conference. Wish me luck!

As you can imagine, I have learned many things throughout my journey and I would like to share them with you here on Writing Military Mom. While I will continue to post about opportunities for the military community, I also plan to write about entrepreneurship, what I have been learning throughout the last year or so, and how I'm moving forward with my plan to become a profitable small publisher.

I look forward to hearing from everyone and am happy to be back!

Rosemary O'Brien

Direct link: http://web.safecrm.com/ZNJGBT3GL6PMQ2KT@0C0B14D3OCDUH5.htm

I found a great discount for those of us dealing with snow! While you're there, check out the other great discounts on Military Spouse Magazine's website.

SnowCare for Troops 

Project EverGreen has partnered with The BOSS Snowplow to connect military families with snow and ice management professionals and volunteers to provide free snow and ice removal services.  It’s called the SnowCare for Troops program. 

http://www.milspouse.com/military-discounts.aspx#

DoD 9/11 Special Pay deadline looming

Service members, veterans, and beneficiaries of servicemembers whose service was involuntarily extended under Stop Loss between Sept. 11, 2001 and Sept. 30, 2009 are eligible for RSLSP.  

Visit this link for more information and to apply: http://www.defense.gov/home/features/2010/0710_stoploss/

DEADLINE October 21, 2010.

Please share with everyone you know who may be eligible.

Disney discount discovered!

The Swan and Dolphin gave me an EXCELLENT military discounted rate! $159 for a resort view (parking lot) and $184 for a preferred view (the parks and surrounding area). The funny thing is that when I called ITT to clarify a discrepancy in dates for the park ticket promo, she said she had never heard of the hotel discount at the Swan and Dolphin. As she was researching something for me, she called the Disney agent and THEY had not heard of it. I found out about it at Mousesavers and then got it when I called the Swan and Dolphin. Seeking to maximize our savings on dining (they don't accept the Dining Plan at the S&D), I called again to ask about their military discounts on dining at their hotels. They offer a whopping 50% on all food and beverages (excluding alcohol) with the exception of the Signature Restaurants (Shula's, etc.).

All I'm saying is for the love of mike, ASK! Ask for discounts and don't be ashamed to do it. Our spouses, or we, serve and should take advantage of any military discount provided.

We have a different perspective

This is Veteran’s Day. It is the day we support the men and women who serve our country. No matter where or how they served, they served. It does not matter if we support the cause, but we need to support the people as our local Veteran’s Council President, Lori Grenfell, stated at our local Veteran’s Day service.

As military families, we are thankful for our military members’ service every day, but do we realize how different our perspective is compared to the civilian world? I am reminded of this fact every year at this event when I look around at the dwindling crowd of attendees and World War II and Korean War veterans. I am grateful for the people who do show up to thank these honorable people. I am not saying that the civilian population is lacking for not always thinking of the men and women who serve. That is what Veteran’s Day is for, to remind them. I just want to point out that we are different as military families. We support our troops directly every day, even when our active duty member retires or leaves the military. We cannot help but take it personally when something like the Cole or Fort Hood happens. We know people who were directly affected by the event, and even if we do not, our family was affected – the military family.

So on this day of remembrance, I want to thank not only the military veterans and the active duty members of our armed forces, but the families and spouses of those who serve or have served. We serve our country, too. My husband retired this past July of 2009. As I told my son when he said we used to be a military family, we will always be a military family.

Thank you to all of those who served and to all of those (us) who support them.

Rosemary

2009 Military Spouse of the Year, Tanya Queiro!

Courtesy of Military Spouse Magazine:

Tanya Queiro, the 2009 Military Spouse of the Year National Winner will appear on CNN's Lou Dobbs Tonight on Memorial Day, Monday May 25th, 7-8 PM EDT. Don't miss it!

Visit msoy.milspouse.com for pictures from the 2009 Military Spouse of the Year Awards Luncheon.

Additional Links:
Video Full Article from Military Spouse magazine Press Release
Victory Media, Inc. 1005 5th Avenue Coraopolis, PA 15108

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To all of those who serve and have served our country,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Rosemary

Standing By

Alison Buckholtz is posting this week in conjunction with the publication of her new book, "Standing By: The Making of an American Military Family In A Time of War." This book is a must-read for those of us who can relate as well as those who are curious about the life of a military family.

Thank you, Alison!

Military spouses are usually seen but not heard. I think this is because keeping quiet about the challenges of a military lifestyle is sometimes equated with loyalty. So military spouses are sometimes stereotyped as being quiet, reticent, blindly loyal, not so bright, or not terribly ambitious. I believed that stereotype myself, but when I started getting to know other military spouses I realized quickly how wrong I had been. So part of my goal for Standing By: The Making of an American Military Family in a Time of War, was to rewrite the image of the military spouse in the public imagination.

The experiences I write about emerge from my years as a military spouse. But the subjects, like love and loneliness, grief and loss, are eternal human themes which affect everyone. Standing By is the story of our family as we grew to know each other in new and surprising ways, and more than anything else, it's about how these relationships transformed us.

Many of the servicemember spouses I have met since embarking on this unexpected path have traveled it much longer than I have, and their experiences are richer and more dramatic than my own. Learning of the far-flung places they have established their lives, and the hardships and losses they have endured, has humbled me. Their can-do attitude and adventurous spirit has inspired me. They have taught me valuable lessons about the challenges and rewards of a military lifestyle, and I feel honored to transmit what I have learned from them -- especially if I can bring these stories to a civilian population with a limited understanding of America's Armed Forces. In doing so, I hope to show non-military readers the human face of deployment as it was experienced by those left behind. If military spouses read my memoir and think, "That's nothing, I've had it much harder," I hope that they will be inspired to share their experiences.

I call my military experience an ongoing civics lesson, and I've learned more about the nation – and the important role the military plays in its ongoing stability -- than I ever learned in school. Although in Standing By I portray my struggle with our identity as a military family, I believe the book is ultimately a tribute to the military, because our experience made me appreciate what it means to be an American.

Alison Buckholtz
http://www.alisonbuckholtz.com/

FREE SAT & ACT Test Prep Software to Military Families

Group Extends $20 Million Donation to America’s Military Families For a Fourth Year.

In alliance with the Department of Defense and a group of patriotic NFL football players, eKnowledge Corporation is extending its donation of SAT & ACT Test Prep Software to military families and veterans for a fourth consecutive year.

Over the past three years, eKnowledge has delivered more than 100,000 SAT/ACT test prep programs normally priced at $200.00, FREE to military families worldwide. The total value of the donation is now over $20 million.

The NFL players who are supporting the eKnowledge SAT/ACT donation for 2009 represent the Chicago Bears, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Philadelphia Eagles, Green Bay Packers, Miami Dolphins and San Diego Chargers.

The donated eKnowledge SAT/ACT Power Prep programs come in a single DVD or two CD-ROM set that includes more than 11 hours of high quality classroom video instruction with up to 40 hours of student interactive learning participation. The test prep programs can be used as a stand-alone instruction tool to prepare thoroughly for the SAT/ACT or as a supplement to other SAT/ACT preparation materials. Each student can select the areas where they need additional or special instruction and then study at their own pace using the 120 classroom video lessons.

Members of Military families or Veterans interested in receiving the FREE SAT/ACT Power Prep software should visit the following website for details: www.eknowledge.com/military

For additional information, contact: Lori Caputo, Vice President, Military Donation Programs
770-992-0900 LoriCaputo@eKnowledge.com

Our connectivity practices are not always polite.

We are always connected, sometimes even when we want to disappear. Between our Blackberries and iPhones, our wireless internet and wired coffee shops, we are never far from whoever needs to reach us or thinks they need to know what we’re doing. The problem is does EVERYONE ALWAYS NEED to know what we’re doing? I mean do they really NEED to know that I’m running out to put my garbage cans by the curb, or that I just dusted my living room?

I bring this up after hearing that attendees listening to President Obama speak to Congress last night were tweeting during the entire event. The radio announcer wondered if our Vice President was also tweeting after noticing how many times he looked down toward the floor during the speech. Was he simply contemplating Obama’s words or was he exercising his right to tweet?

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, “tweeting” is the act of typing in 140 words or less what you are doing to a band of followers. That’s really it in a nutshell. It is a helpful tool for those of us involved in p.r. or journalism, and it can be helpful during times of chaos such as when the war in Gaza began. People caught in the crossfire were tweeting their whereabouts and activities while bombs and rockets flew all around them. As I said, it can be useful, but isn’t it kind of – I don’t know – RUDE to be doing anything other than listening and paying attention when the President of the United States is speaking about your country’s severe economic problems?

I’m just sayin’…

DON'T FORGET TO:

Vote for me in the 2009 Best Mommy Blogger Awards.
http://www.scholastic.com/parents/blogcontest/

Help pass the Military Spouse Residency Relief Act.
This is being introduced today, so get crackin' and contact your representatives.

How to find your representatives:

Senator http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm
Representative https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml

Help pass the Military Spouses Residency Relief Act

*** Attention All Military Spouses ***

Please contact your Congressman (where you currently live) and your spouse’s Congressman (where he/she has a homestate) and let them know you support the Military Spouses Residency Relief Act. Let's get this one passed.

Lanette Lepper
llepper@milspousebiz.org
Military Spouse Business Association, www.milspousebiz.org

How to find your representatives:

Senator
http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

Representative
https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Carter to Re-introduce Military Spouses Residency Relief Act

(February 18, 2009, FORT HOOD, TEXAS) – Military spouses would be able to claim the same state residency as their service member husband or wife, under legislation scheduled to be re-introduced next week in Washington by U.S. Rep. John Carter (R-TX31).

Carter’s legislation passed the House during the last session of Congress but failed to become law before Congress adjourned in December. The bill allows a military spouse who moves out of a state with their service member under military orders to have the option to claim the same state of domicile as their active duty spouse, regardless of where they are stationed.

“We have long supported service member’s ability to continue voting and paying taxes in one state over the course of a military career as they are transferred around the world on orders,” says Carter, who represents Fort Hood, the U.S. Army’s largest base. “I feel it has been an egregious oversight spanning decades that we have not extended that stability to spouses as well, as they are impacted politically and economically just as much as the service member by these frequent and career-long moves.”

WHO: U.S. Rep. John Carter with supporting House and Senate members
WHAT: Military Spouses Residency Relief Act introduction to the 111th Congress
WHEN: 11:00AM Wednesday, February 25
WHERE: U.S. Capitol (Room TBD)

John E. Stone
Communications Director
U.S. Rep. John Carter (TX31)
Secretary, House Republican Conference
409 Cannon House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515
Office - (202) 225-3864

Does anyone else feel like a fraud?

I feel like a fraud sometimes. When I am at a reading of my book or teaching a writing class for Adult Education, I wonder when someone will reveal me. It is inevitable, isn’t it? You work very hard to be good at whatever you are good at, then doubt yourself even though you have no basis for that doubt. It’s human nature, apparently.

As a military spouse, I have not had to deal with a lengthy deployment (knock on wood lest it happen now that I jinxed it!), and I have not moved around too much (only five times in 12 years). Yes, there have been many TAD’s and duties, but a week here or there, or one night alone in bed is nothing compared to what other spouses deal with on a regular basis. In short, I’ve been blessed.

The problem is that sometimes I feel like a fraud and not a real military spouse. Then I remember we are all on standby. As a milspouse, we are all waiting for that call every time we hear something on the news. We are all aware of that special set of uniforms tucked away at the back of the closet. We are all aware that we may have only 72 hours to get things in order and prepare the kids, and that 72 hours is if we are lucky. Many have less time than that before their husband or wife leaves for a while.

The point is not to feel like a fraud or dredge up any guilty feelings if you have been blessed as I have. Go with it. Revel in it. Just make sure to help out someone else who has not been so blessed. We need to take care of each other because we are all supporting our country by supporting our active duty member. Be proud, stand tall and thank you for your service.

NEWS OF NOTE:

Click and Connect: Find a Battle Buddy

May 13, 2008 Andi - SpouseBUZZ is all about connecting with one another and sharing our collective "married to the military" experiences. We've updated the long list of milspouse bloggers that we've managed to gather from previous posts. Plus, additional links that you've sent our way have been added. You may find that there are some spouse blogs you can relate to more than others, so browse the links and try to find a battle buddy (or twenty). Sit back, click and connect.

I'm one of them! - Rosemary

Spouse Career Advancement Initiative Extended
by Barbara A. Goodno, Special to American Forces Press Service

WASHINGTON, May 15, 2008 – Career and training opportunities for military spouses just got better, as the Defense and Labor departments’ career advancement demonstration project has been expanded to include all active-duty military spouses, along with four additional career fields.

Merry Stress-mas

During this busy time of year, I find myself overwhelmed – again. I do this to myself every year since having my children. I plan on starting my Christmas shopping early, making homemade ornaments and cards, and getting my Christmas card list all spiffed up with cards sent out the day after Thanksgiving. Does it get done? Well, it used to before I had my children, but not anymore.

My days are filled with writing assignments, reading at one or the other schools (a fun thing!), running to pick up a gift from THE only store that has IT left on its shelf, and planning on making a few more batches of cookies to give. Notice I said, “Planning.” The actual “doing” does not seem to happen lately. These cookies are very important since we give them out as gifts to a few people who make our lives fun. Ever since my eldest (now 8) was small, we have gone around to the neighbors delivering cookies a few days before Christmas. We pick out the nicest-looking, unbroken cookies, pack them into pretty holiday tins, add a tag, and go to a few nearby houses and the Fire Department. Actually, the Fire Department has not gotten cookies in the past couple of years, but I plan on making tons this weekend and bringing them down to the House. (There’s that planning thing again.)

All of this brings me in a roundabout way to speak about the meaning of Christmas. We sung at Lessons and Carols at my church the other night. Readings and songs tell the story of Christmas. The Adult Choir, the Children’s Choir and several musicians get together with the congregation for this one night to enjoy the season in song.

As I stood in front of the choir, about to sing with three other people, I had the opportunity to hear both choirs for a change. Usually I am stuck at the end of the soprano section with only soprano voices to hear. When the children sang their verse, I was glad we were rehearsing first. I had to hold back my tears. Their little, innocent voices, so clear and pure, rose up and out, filling the air with their sweetness. I later enjoyed the little girl pulling up her stockings during a children’s song, and the boys in the back doing impromptu dances with their feet while remaining seated during another one of their songs, but the innocent moment stayed with me.

In this joyous season of Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, take a moment to stop all of your rushing around and enjoy the innocence. There are few moments in life like the one I had the other evening. Make sure you notice them as they quickly pass.

What are your most treasured holiday moments?

Share them with us.

LINKS OF NOTE:

Wreaths Across America
http://www.wreathsacrossamerica.org/

The Wreaths Across America story began over 15 years ago when Worcester Wreath Company (a for-profit commercial business from Harrington, Maine) began a tradition of placing wreaths on the headstones of our Nation's fallen heroes at Arlington National Cemetery.

UPDATE: Over 3000 people laid wreaths at Arlington today. 'Just thought you would want to know.

California Family Leave Act
http://www.fordharrison.com/shownews.aspx?Show=3205

Under certain circumstances, California employers must provide up to ten days of unpaid leave to employees who have spouses in the military. California joins Illinois, Indiana, Maine, Minnesota, Nebraska and New York, all of which have Military Family Leave laws.

NORAD Santa
http://www.noradsanta.org/

Follow Santa’s progress as he treks across the world on Christmas Eve. (Note: My sons love doing this each Christmas Eve. It is part of our Christmas tradition.)

Musing At the Cleveland Airport

I am sitting here in the Cleveland airport after my flight was diverted due to snow. This always happens to me when I fly. I can be flying in the middle of August and somewhere, somehow, there is going to be some sort of storm with my name on it. It usually happens when I am nowhere near Disney or anywhere there is a good movie theatre or nail place.

My husband always laughs because this is my karma. I truly believe that in a past life, I killed the entire village that was trying to raise those children. I'm only kidding, but you get what I am talking about. The good news is that there is a difference this time. I spent my weekend in Fayetteville, NC. That's right – Fort Bragg. I have never been there, nor would I have chosen this area for a trip, but I am happy I went because I was enlightened. I met some of the nicest, most accomplished women who are also military spouses at an event called SpouseBUZZ Live, sponsored by Military.com. The best part of this entire scenario is that I am one of them. Yes, I have known this for the past 11 years of milspousedom, but this weekend it hit home. I met the folks for whom I am trying to work, for whom I look for career options, and for whom I would do anything in my power to help.

I heard from a lady who accepted help from another spouse named Barb. She later discovered she was the General's wife, but to Becky, she was just another wife who offered to help in a time of need. I met Ginger (Sew Much Comfort) who started an entire organization that gives adaptive clothing so that service members have something to where while recovering from disfiguring injuries. I met a woman who became a blogger after filling in for her blogger husband while his hands were mending after being injured by an IED.

These women made me feel unworthy to call myself a military spouse – at first. Then I realized that we all have our individual experiences. It is okay that my husband has never been on a deployment, only TAD's. I have not had to deliver my children alone, nor have I moved overseas alone. All of this is okay because I am still a spouse, supporting my country by supporting my sailor. I, too, never know what the next day will bring and am grateful every time he walks in the door. I, too, have moved more times than I care to mention. And I, too, have friends to whom I have grown close and to whom I have had to wave goodbye as they PCS'ed to another duty station, leaving me behind to try to bond with a new bunch of people.

So, I will continue to try to help those of us who need help, information, or just a shoulder to cry on. I will write about our issues and concerns so as to enlighten the civilian population among whom I live, far away from my comrades closer to base where I am not such an uncommon denominator. And I will laugh like I did this weekend. I will laugh about the gremlins that descend the minute Hubby pulls away with his orders in hand and his collar devices polished. I will laugh about the Tricare issues that will always, I fear, come up when I least need them. And I promise to always laugh – or cry – right along with you, my sisters at arms.

I am honored to be a part of this group. Thank you for your service and may those gremlins pick on someone else the next time your spouse deploys.

Giving Thanks

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and there is much to be thankful for in my home. The main things are healthy children and their daddy who is here and not in The Sandbox. There are many families who are not so lucky, and we need to remember them during this holiday season.

Take a moment to check out this link and remember those who are far from home. Will you wear blue on Fridays? And if you want to be even more proactive, cook a meal for the spouse of a deployed service member, or offer to rake his or her leaves. Something this simple means the world to someone missing their husband or wife who need to be Daddy AND Mommy, plumber AND auto mechanic, good cop AND bad cop (if you have children). Those who pretend they are okay when they are not and the children catch them crying. Who give themselves a pep talk when the phone does not ring when it is supposed to. Who need to be both parts of the team when their other half is away working as part of someone else's team ... for now.

Be there for them if they need you. Their families are also sacrificing for our country; the one you and I call home. Be there to support the greatest supporter of our military members - the military spouse.

To all of the military spouses reading this, whether your spouse is deployed or not, I thank you for your service.

With much admiration and very sincerely,
Rosemary

Are you going to SpouseBUZZ?

SpouseBUZZ Live is coming to Fort Bragg/Pope Air Force Base December 1st. The event is an opportunity to meet other spouses, learn more about subjects such as blogging , and enjoy a laugh or two about our shared experiences as military spouses. SpouseBUZZ Live is free and open to military spouses. I will be schlepping south for this one and would love to meet some of my readers.

As read on…

SpouseBUZZ blog

November is Military Family Month.

Each November, ASYMCA celebrates Military Family Month to demonstrate the nation’s support for and commitment to the families of military personnel. With hundreds of thousands of service members deployed overseas, recognizing the daily sacrifices made by military families has never been more important.

Military.com’s Military Spouse Network

Military.com has further enhanced their site by creating a place for military spouses to get information and answers to their questions. If there is a more comprehensive site, I have not found it.

Military Spouse Magazine has launched!

Today is the launch of the print magazine’s website. It includes lots of good stuff including forums where spouses can connect with each other. Take a look! You will not be disappointed.

Stop bad dreams with Dream Caps.

I have not tried these caps, but they seem innovative for children who are going through the bad dreams stage. I am putting this up here because they are giving them away to military families until November 30th, 2007. You only pay postage, so they are worth a try.

Okay, I know it's close to the holidays and everyone is getting busier, but send me your comments. This week's question is:

How are you celebrating Thanksgiving this year?

I have to say this is one of the more fun holidays for me. I love cooking and miss having Thanksgiving at my own house, but it's certainly less work at Mom's! (Thanks, Mom!) When we were stationed at Quantico a few years ago I hosted Thanksgiving at my house. My rule has always been to bring anyone, especially if he or she is far from home and has no where else to go. This has always proved rewarding and lots of fun, but the year the corpsman piled into my house and "Ma'am'ed" me to death was probably my favorite so far. If any of you are reading, Happy Thanksgiving, gentlemen!

Enjoy your blessings.

Marrying The Family

I am on the hunt for blended military families. I want to know how they did it, what challenges they faced which were specific to military families, and any tips they may have for those trying to blend families with children while serving in the military. Do you know anyone? Send me their name and e-mail, but make sure to check with them first, and they may be featured in an article I am working on for a military-friendly publication. They can also be quoted anonymously if they prefer. It’s up to them. I just need to honest, direct information from those who have been through this challenging situation.

Blending a family has to be difficult enough, but when combined with a military lifestyle, I cannot imagine it. With the frequent moves, deployments, and general demands of being part of a military family, children have a lot to deal with it. Add to it that mom or dad is marrying a member of the military, and all bets are off.

So if you can help, please contact me. I would like to produce an honest, informative article that may also help others. While you're looking for that e-mail address, check out 4 Military Families. It's a great site dedicated to informing the military spouse.

To all of our service members, military spouses, families, and veterans: thank you for your service to our country.