My Day With Alex

There are several topics to write about today. I could write about how aggravating it is to have two seconds to squeeze in some work – in between the time when dinner is ready and the potty-training “incident” – and having another computer problem. Or I could always talk about the fact that I woke up around 3:30am and could not get back to sleep, so ended up having a pretty useless day. I decided to stick to the positive, though, because it makes me happy to think about and, therefore, to write about it.

My youngest son, Alex, and I spent a rare day together this past week. It was rare because I work from home and have two different age groups to work with by having an 8-year-old and a 3-year-old. I do not usually have time to spend with my younger son the way I did with Nicholas. Nicholas was essentially an only child for 4 ½ years. I took him everywhere and did not even have the option of any sort of preschool until he was almost 4. He went grocery shopping with me, had several Mommy and Me-type of activities, and I enjoyed hanging out with him. He was also more attentive and patient when it came to crafts and tangible activities such as cooking. His brother, on the other hand, is a very different child. I occasionally take him out on short outings to the grocery store or on other errands, but he always wants to be wherever his brother is. I think that is a good thing overall, but I regret not having time to spend with him alone.

So when he had a day off while his brother was at school, I hung out with him and did absolutely no work at all. (Don’t tell my editors!) We grabbed a donut at Dunkin’, went to the store and visited Nonni at work. I even helped him make a pillow fort and then climbed into it at his request! It was a tight squeeze, but totally worth the back pain when he said, “I like hanging out with you, Mommy,” his face beaming with his smile.

When it snowed later in the day, and my choir rehearsal was cancelled, he was in Heaven. He got to romp in the snow with his brother after dinner. This was a good call on my part since it poured rain overnight and the snow was gone by morning. We made snow angels, built a little fort for his dump truck, and drank hot tea with honey after we came in for the night.

Time is passing and Alex will grow up all too soon. His brother is already eight! He will be busy with school and friends, and there will be no time for his old mom. My work will always (hopefully!) be there, so I think I’ll have to schedule a few of these days off from now on. I do not think his college boards will be affected if he misses a day of preschool, do you?

Traveling Manners

Do you leave your manners at home when you travel? I just had a quick Disney “sneak away” with my husband and was once again amazed. I mean I was aggravated at the general public in the park when I was there with the kids this past September, but did not really have the time to think about it. With trying to get enough water into the kids, shade-seeking activities, and trying to get a bang for our park ticket buck, there just was not time to think about the idiot who cut me off or the women screaming at her kid in front of the castle.

This time was different. I had time as I strolled with hubby. As I watched the lady who did not want to get on the bus at 10pm with her 2-year-old simply because she would not have a seat, I wanted to jump out, take her crying child on the bus with me and tell her we would meet her so she could sit her fat *** on the bus. Besides, every single person in line would have given up their seat so the child could get to bed at that late hour. My husband actually thought I was going to confront her, but Ignorance simply does not listen, does it? I just hoped the next bus would arrive soon. Thank goodness it did.

Then there was the family of five who cut me off as I was going into a ride, then cut me off again when we were moving to the next room of the venue. These were two adults with three children in their late teens, early 20’s. Now why would I have thought the three teenage lifeguards at our hotel would NOT have crossed in front of the elderly bartender schlepping a heavy cart with people like this raising their children?

My boys know that manners come first. I expect them to be gentlemen, and they are with very few reminders. My 8-year-old holds doors, picks up dropped belongings for total strangers, and even helps the usher at church pick up the discarded bulletins each Sunday.

Raising a healthy, well-mannered person does not take much when you think about it. It only takes the time to teach them what is right unlike the lifeguards. It only takes a little sacrifice on your part to keep your child healthy unlike the woman who could not sit down. It only takes making the choice to do the right thing in any and every situation unlike the family who cut me off. In other words, doing your job as a parent is what it takes to raise polite, healthy people who will make the world a better place long after you and I are gone.

Musing At the Cleveland Airport

I am sitting here in the Cleveland airport after my flight was diverted due to snow. This always happens to me when I fly. I can be flying in the middle of August and somewhere, somehow, there is going to be some sort of storm with my name on it. It usually happens when I am nowhere near Disney or anywhere there is a good movie theatre or nail place.

My husband always laughs because this is my karma. I truly believe that in a past life, I killed the entire village that was trying to raise those children. I'm only kidding, but you get what I am talking about. The good news is that there is a difference this time. I spent my weekend in Fayetteville, NC. That's right – Fort Bragg. I have never been there, nor would I have chosen this area for a trip, but I am happy I went because I was enlightened. I met some of the nicest, most accomplished women who are also military spouses at an event called SpouseBUZZ Live, sponsored by Military.com. The best part of this entire scenario is that I am one of them. Yes, I have known this for the past 11 years of milspousedom, but this weekend it hit home. I met the folks for whom I am trying to work, for whom I look for career options, and for whom I would do anything in my power to help.

I heard from a lady who accepted help from another spouse named Barb. She later discovered she was the General's wife, but to Becky, she was just another wife who offered to help in a time of need. I met Ginger (Sew Much Comfort) who started an entire organization that gives adaptive clothing so that service members have something to where while recovering from disfiguring injuries. I met a woman who became a blogger after filling in for her blogger husband while his hands were mending after being injured by an IED.

These women made me feel unworthy to call myself a military spouse – at first. Then I realized that we all have our individual experiences. It is okay that my husband has never been on a deployment, only TAD's. I have not had to deliver my children alone, nor have I moved overseas alone. All of this is okay because I am still a spouse, supporting my country by supporting my sailor. I, too, never know what the next day will bring and am grateful every time he walks in the door. I, too, have moved more times than I care to mention. And I, too, have friends to whom I have grown close and to whom I have had to wave goodbye as they PCS'ed to another duty station, leaving me behind to try to bond with a new bunch of people.

So, I will continue to try to help those of us who need help, information, or just a shoulder to cry on. I will write about our issues and concerns so as to enlighten the civilian population among whom I live, far away from my comrades closer to base where I am not such an uncommon denominator. And I will laugh like I did this weekend. I will laugh about the gremlins that descend the minute Hubby pulls away with his orders in hand and his collar devices polished. I will laugh about the Tricare issues that will always, I fear, come up when I least need them. And I promise to always laugh – or cry – right along with you, my sisters at arms.

I am honored to be a part of this group. Thank you for your service and may those gremlins pick on someone else the next time your spouse deploys.

Are there gremlins in my house?

As I waded through the toys and bits in my living room this morning, I began wondering if clutter reproduces itself. Does the missing Lego under the couch wink at the yellow dump truck across the room and make a date? Does the Harry Potter dvd invite the fake ketchup in the miniature kitchen up to the t.v. stand for coffee?

Delegation is definitely the key, especially when you work from home. How to actually do this is still a mystery to me. No, I’m not a control freak and have absolutely no desire to clean it all up by myself, but the half-job that is done when I order everyone to pick up the junk is annoying.

So it sits. (Ask my mother.) One day I will make enough to hire Merry Maids like I did when I was pregnant with my second child, but for now, I get to scream with pain daily as I step on another Matchbox car.

Is your house neat and tidy or does it look as if a gremlin ran through with 20 of his best buddies?

The main thing is to enjoy the family while they are here, for all too soon, my sons will be out in the world on their own. The house will be clean, but quiet, and I will long for the days of Matchbox cars and Legos under my couch.

Nominate Your Mother

In honor of Mother’s Day, The MomsHall, The Mother’s Hall of Fame ™ has just opened its doors. This is a cool place where families can nominate their mom as well as share their thoughts, memories and appreciation for their mothers with the rest of the family. Using a password-protected site for their mom, family and friends can log on and add their recollections of their special mom.

MomsHall was designed to recognize “everymom” and her contribution to our lives. If you would like to nominate your mother for the Mother’s Hall of Fame ™, go to MomsHall and tell them why.

Archiving Your Memories

Scrapbooking is a passion of mine. I started right before my eldest son was born. After getting the ultrasound, I needed a place for the pictures. Voila! Another scrapbooking maniac was born.

I live in a city where many people joke about my hobby. They do not realize it is more about archiving their family’s history and paraphernalia rather than a homemaker hobby, as one friend called it. A few years ago, I decided to interview my grandmother, her brothers, and my mom who was the eldest of the cousins in her generation. The stories they told were new to me and fascinating! Now we have them, captured forever.

Do you even know where your photographs are? I am positive that unless you are a scrapbooker, your photos are in a box, hidden from the people who would most enjoy them. Why not stick them on a piece of paper and put that piece of paper in a scrapbook? It does not have to be expensive at all, just acid-free so the memories last more than ten years. This is about how long it takes for the paper, especially newspapers, to start disintegrating. If the paper and various other elements are acid-free, the photos and any journaling you may have done, can last upward of 100 years.

So, take those Easter egg hunt pictures you are about to take and stick them on a piece of acid-free paper. After that, you can tell the story of the photo using an acid-free pen, and then stick the whole thing in a scrapbook album. Future generations will appreciate your efforts. Who knows? You may become a maniac scrapbooker, too.