During this busy time of year, I find myself overwhelmed – again. I do this to myself every year since having my children. I plan on starting my Christmas shopping early, making homemade ornaments and cards, and getting my Christmas card list all spiffed up with cards sent out the day after Thanksgiving. Does it get done? Well, it used to before I had my children, but not anymore.
My days are filled with writing assignments, reading at one or the other schools (a fun thing!), running to pick up a gift from THE only store that has IT left on its shelf, and planning on making a few more batches of cookies to give. Notice I said, “Planning.” The actual “doing” does not seem to happen lately. These cookies are very important since we give them out as gifts to a few people who make our lives fun. Ever since my eldest (now 8) was small, we have gone around to the neighbors delivering cookies a few days before Christmas. We pick out the nicest-looking, unbroken cookies, pack them into pretty holiday tins, add a tag, and go to a few nearby houses and the Fire Department. Actually, the Fire Department has not gotten cookies in the past couple of years, but I plan on making tons this weekend and bringing them down to the House. (There’s that planning thing again.)
All of this brings me in a roundabout way to speak about the meaning of Christmas. We sung at Lessons and Carols at my church the other night. Readings and songs tell the story of Christmas. The Adult Choir, the Children’s Choir and several musicians get together with the congregation for this one night to enjoy the season in song.
As I stood in front of the choir, about to sing with three other people, I had the opportunity to hear both choirs for a change. Usually I am stuck at the end of the soprano section with only soprano voices to hear. When the children sang their verse, I was glad we were rehearsing first. I had to hold back my tears. Their little, innocent voices, so clear and pure, rose up and out, filling the air with their sweetness. I later enjoyed the little girl pulling up her stockings during a children’s song, and the boys in the back doing impromptu dances with their feet while remaining seated during another one of their songs, but the innocent moment stayed with me.
In this joyous season of Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, take a moment to stop all of your rushing around and enjoy the innocence. There are few moments in life like the one I had the other evening. Make sure you notice them as they quickly pass.
What are your most treasured holiday moments?
Share them with us.
LINKS OF NOTE:
Wreaths Across America
http://www.wreathsacrossamerica.org/
The Wreaths Across America story began over 15 years ago when Worcester Wreath Company (a for-profit commercial business from Harrington, Maine) began a tradition of placing wreaths on the headstones of our Nation's fallen heroes at Arlington National Cemetery.
UPDATE: Over 3000 people laid wreaths at Arlington today. 'Just thought you would want to know.
California Family Leave Act
http://www.fordharrison.com/shownews.aspx?Show=3205
Under certain circumstances, California employers must provide up to ten days of unpaid leave to employees who have spouses in the military. California joins Illinois, Indiana, Maine, Minnesota, Nebraska and New York, all of which have Military Family Leave laws.
NORAD Santa
http://www.noradsanta.org/
Follow Santa’s progress as he treks across the world on Christmas Eve. (Note: My sons love doing this each Christmas Eve. It is part of our Christmas tradition.)
Showing posts with label families. Show all posts
Showing posts with label families. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Musing At the Cleveland Airport
I am sitting here in the Cleveland airport after my flight was diverted due to snow. This always happens to me when I fly. I can be flying in the middle of August and somewhere, somehow, there is going to be some sort of storm with my name on it. It usually happens when I am nowhere near Disney or anywhere there is a good movie theatre or nail place.
My husband always laughs because this is my karma. I truly believe that in a past life, I killed the entire village that was trying to raise those children. I'm only kidding, but you get what I am talking about. The good news is that there is a difference this time. I spent my weekend in Fayetteville, NC. That's right – Fort Bragg. I have never been there, nor would I have chosen this area for a trip, but I am happy I went because I was enlightened. I met some of the nicest, most accomplished women who are also military spouses at an event called SpouseBUZZ Live, sponsored by Military.com. The best part of this entire scenario is that I am one of them. Yes, I have known this for the past 11 years of milspousedom, but this weekend it hit home. I met the folks for whom I am trying to work, for whom I look for career options, and for whom I would do anything in my power to help.
I heard from a lady who accepted help from another spouse named Barb. She later discovered she was the General's wife, but to Becky, she was just another wife who offered to help in a time of need. I met Ginger (Sew Much Comfort) who started an entire organization that gives adaptive clothing so that service members have something to where while recovering from disfiguring injuries. I met a woman who became a blogger after filling in for her blogger husband while his hands were mending after being injured by an IED.
These women made me feel unworthy to call myself a military spouse – at first. Then I realized that we all have our individual experiences. It is okay that my husband has never been on a deployment, only TAD's. I have not had to deliver my children alone, nor have I moved overseas alone. All of this is okay because I am still a spouse, supporting my country by supporting my sailor. I, too, never know what the next day will bring and am grateful every time he walks in the door. I, too, have moved more times than I care to mention. And I, too, have friends to whom I have grown close and to whom I have had to wave goodbye as they PCS'ed to another duty station, leaving me behind to try to bond with a new bunch of people.
So, I will continue to try to help those of us who need help, information, or just a shoulder to cry on. I will write about our issues and concerns so as to enlighten the civilian population among whom I live, far away from my comrades closer to base where I am not such an uncommon denominator. And I will laugh like I did this weekend. I will laugh about the gremlins that descend the minute Hubby pulls away with his orders in hand and his collar devices polished. I will laugh about the Tricare issues that will always, I fear, come up when I least need them. And I promise to always laugh – or cry – right along with you, my sisters at arms.
I am honored to be a part of this group. Thank you for your service and may those gremlins pick on someone else the next time your spouse deploys.
My husband always laughs because this is my karma. I truly believe that in a past life, I killed the entire village that was trying to raise those children. I'm only kidding, but you get what I am talking about. The good news is that there is a difference this time. I spent my weekend in Fayetteville, NC. That's right – Fort Bragg. I have never been there, nor would I have chosen this area for a trip, but I am happy I went because I was enlightened. I met some of the nicest, most accomplished women who are also military spouses at an event called SpouseBUZZ Live, sponsored by Military.com. The best part of this entire scenario is that I am one of them. Yes, I have known this for the past 11 years of milspousedom, but this weekend it hit home. I met the folks for whom I am trying to work, for whom I look for career options, and for whom I would do anything in my power to help.
I heard from a lady who accepted help from another spouse named Barb. She later discovered she was the General's wife, but to Becky, she was just another wife who offered to help in a time of need. I met Ginger (Sew Much Comfort) who started an entire organization that gives adaptive clothing so that service members have something to where while recovering from disfiguring injuries. I met a woman who became a blogger after filling in for her blogger husband while his hands were mending after being injured by an IED.
These women made me feel unworthy to call myself a military spouse – at first. Then I realized that we all have our individual experiences. It is okay that my husband has never been on a deployment, only TAD's. I have not had to deliver my children alone, nor have I moved overseas alone. All of this is okay because I am still a spouse, supporting my country by supporting my sailor. I, too, never know what the next day will bring and am grateful every time he walks in the door. I, too, have moved more times than I care to mention. And I, too, have friends to whom I have grown close and to whom I have had to wave goodbye as they PCS'ed to another duty station, leaving me behind to try to bond with a new bunch of people.
So, I will continue to try to help those of us who need help, information, or just a shoulder to cry on. I will write about our issues and concerns so as to enlighten the civilian population among whom I live, far away from my comrades closer to base where I am not such an uncommon denominator. And I will laugh like I did this weekend. I will laugh about the gremlins that descend the minute Hubby pulls away with his orders in hand and his collar devices polished. I will laugh about the Tricare issues that will always, I fear, come up when I least need them. And I promise to always laugh – or cry – right along with you, my sisters at arms.
I am honored to be a part of this group. Thank you for your service and may those gremlins pick on someone else the next time your spouse deploys.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Military Spouses Face Unique Challenges
I live in an area that is about an hour from base. Needless to say, people here are not familiar with the military subculture and do not know much about our unique challenges and advantages. Many of my experiences have been good, but there are many things we deal with every day that are completely foreign to those not part of the military community.
For instance, there is the job arena. Since marrying my sailor, I set myself up as a freelancer because I knew my life would not be lived in one place. Yes, I tried to get a job, but everywhere I applied, I was over-qualified (employer-ese for “You’re not going to be around here too long, so why hire you?”) It is illegal to say that, but we have all been through it. Unless you work in a job that is of a temporary nature, or are in a health profession which is starving for people in some places, you have a hard time finding a job that is worth your energy.
So many people are doing what I did and taking their work home. This is where the sub-culture comes in. We LOVE home parties. As a result, you can’t swing a cat and not find someone who owns one of those cottage industries that sells kitchen or scrapbooking products. But how does this fly with the civilians? It does not. If you are having a makeup party, they don’t want to come because they don’t “need anything right now,” or they just buy a lipstick. If you have a kitchen party, they don’t come because they “have enough Tupperware.” They do not understand that to the military spouse, a home party is not simply a demonstration, and you will not be pressured to purchase the products shown. It is a way to socialize when Hubby is deployed. It is a way to get in touch with your girlfriends and get out for a night without the kids, though sometimes the kids are in tow, and that’s fine, too. I have not been to a home party where the host has not made some provision for the children. It always happens. The demonstrator does not always expect many purchases because she is usually a military spouse, too. It is a way for her to get out of the house, too.
We are different as military spouses. The workforce is only one of the many areas in which we face challenges and different triumphs than the rest of the population. We need to educate the public a bit if we live far from our military spouse buddies. Then again, why not have a party?
What challenges do you think we face that are different than the civilian world? Yes, some are obvious, but what makes our experience unique?
I am off to SpouseBUZZ this weekend to share experiences with my fellow military spouses. If any of my readers are there, please jump out of the crowd and introduce yourself. You may be featured in an article or two. I am always looking for people to interview for the many magazines and websites for which I write. Maybe you will be one of my features!
As always, to the military spouses out there, thank you for your service.
Rosemary
For instance, there is the job arena. Since marrying my sailor, I set myself up as a freelancer because I knew my life would not be lived in one place. Yes, I tried to get a job, but everywhere I applied, I was over-qualified (employer-ese for “You’re not going to be around here too long, so why hire you?”) It is illegal to say that, but we have all been through it. Unless you work in a job that is of a temporary nature, or are in a health profession which is starving for people in some places, you have a hard time finding a job that is worth your energy.
So many people are doing what I did and taking their work home. This is where the sub-culture comes in. We LOVE home parties. As a result, you can’t swing a cat and not find someone who owns one of those cottage industries that sells kitchen or scrapbooking products. But how does this fly with the civilians? It does not. If you are having a makeup party, they don’t want to come because they don’t “need anything right now,” or they just buy a lipstick. If you have a kitchen party, they don’t come because they “have enough Tupperware.” They do not understand that to the military spouse, a home party is not simply a demonstration, and you will not be pressured to purchase the products shown. It is a way to socialize when Hubby is deployed. It is a way to get in touch with your girlfriends and get out for a night without the kids, though sometimes the kids are in tow, and that’s fine, too. I have not been to a home party where the host has not made some provision for the children. It always happens. The demonstrator does not always expect many purchases because she is usually a military spouse, too. It is a way for her to get out of the house, too.
We are different as military spouses. The workforce is only one of the many areas in which we face challenges and different triumphs than the rest of the population. We need to educate the public a bit if we live far from our military spouse buddies. Then again, why not have a party?
What challenges do you think we face that are different than the civilian world? Yes, some are obvious, but what makes our experience unique?
I am off to SpouseBUZZ this weekend to share experiences with my fellow military spouses. If any of my readers are there, please jump out of the crowd and introduce yourself. You may be featured in an article or two. I am always looking for people to interview for the many magazines and websites for which I write. Maybe you will be one of my features!
As always, to the military spouses out there, thank you for your service.
Rosemary
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Giving Thanks
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and there is much to be thankful for in my home. The main things are healthy children and their daddy who is here and not in The Sandbox. There are many families who are not so lucky, and we need to remember them during this holiday season.
Take a moment to check out this link and remember those who are far from home. Will you wear blue on Fridays? And if you want to be even more proactive, cook a meal for the spouse of a deployed service member, or offer to rake his or her leaves. Something this simple means the world to someone missing their husband or wife who need to be Daddy AND Mommy, plumber AND auto mechanic, good cop AND bad cop (if you have children). Those who pretend they are okay when they are not and the children catch them crying. Who give themselves a pep talk when the phone does not ring when it is supposed to. Who need to be both parts of the team when their other half is away working as part of someone else's team ... for now.
Be there for them if they need you. Their families are also sacrificing for our country; the one you and I call home. Be there to support the greatest supporter of our military members - the military spouse.
To all of the military spouses reading this, whether your spouse is deployed or not, I thank you for your service.
With much admiration and very sincerely,
Rosemary
Take a moment to check out this link and remember those who are far from home. Will you wear blue on Fridays? And if you want to be even more proactive, cook a meal for the spouse of a deployed service member, or offer to rake his or her leaves. Something this simple means the world to someone missing their husband or wife who need to be Daddy AND Mommy, plumber AND auto mechanic, good cop AND bad cop (if you have children). Those who pretend they are okay when they are not and the children catch them crying. Who give themselves a pep talk when the phone does not ring when it is supposed to. Who need to be both parts of the team when their other half is away working as part of someone else's team ... for now.
Be there for them if they need you. Their families are also sacrificing for our country; the one you and I call home. Be there to support the greatest supporter of our military members - the military spouse.
To all of the military spouses reading this, whether your spouse is deployed or not, I thank you for your service.
With much admiration and very sincerely,
Rosemary
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Are you going to SpouseBUZZ?
SpouseBUZZ Live is coming to Fort Bragg/Pope Air Force Base December 1st. The event is an opportunity to meet other spouses, learn more about subjects such as blogging , and enjoy a laugh or two about our shared experiences as military spouses. SpouseBUZZ Live is free and open to military spouses. I will be schlepping south for this one and would love to meet some of my readers.
As read on…
SpouseBUZZ blog
November is Military Family Month.
Each November, ASYMCA celebrates Military Family Month to demonstrate the nation’s support for and commitment to the families of military personnel. With hundreds of thousands of service members deployed overseas, recognizing the daily sacrifices made by military families has never been more important.
Military.com’s Military Spouse Network
Military.com has further enhanced their site by creating a place for military spouses to get information and answers to their questions. If there is a more comprehensive site, I have not found it.
Military Spouse Magazine has launched!
Today is the launch of the print magazine’s website. It includes lots of good stuff including forums where spouses can connect with each other. Take a look! You will not be disappointed.
Stop bad dreams with Dream Caps.
I have not tried these caps, but they seem innovative for children who are going through the bad dreams stage. I am putting this up here because they are giving them away to military families until November 30th, 2007. You only pay postage, so they are worth a try.
Okay, I know it's close to the holidays and everyone is getting busier, but send me your comments. This week's question is:
How are you celebrating Thanksgiving this year?
I have to say this is one of the more fun holidays for me. I love cooking and miss having Thanksgiving at my own house, but it's certainly less work at Mom's! (Thanks, Mom!) When we were stationed at Quantico a few years ago I hosted Thanksgiving at my house. My rule has always been to bring anyone, especially if he or she is far from home and has no where else to go. This has always proved rewarding and lots of fun, but the year the corpsman piled into my house and "Ma'am'ed" me to death was probably my favorite so far. If any of you are reading, Happy Thanksgiving, gentlemen!
Enjoy your blessings.
As read on…
SpouseBUZZ blog
November is Military Family Month.
Each November, ASYMCA celebrates Military Family Month to demonstrate the nation’s support for and commitment to the families of military personnel. With hundreds of thousands of service members deployed overseas, recognizing the daily sacrifices made by military families has never been more important.
Military.com’s Military Spouse Network
Military.com has further enhanced their site by creating a place for military spouses to get information and answers to their questions. If there is a more comprehensive site, I have not found it.
Military Spouse Magazine has launched!
Today is the launch of the print magazine’s website. It includes lots of good stuff including forums where spouses can connect with each other. Take a look! You will not be disappointed.
Stop bad dreams with Dream Caps.
I have not tried these caps, but they seem innovative for children who are going through the bad dreams stage. I am putting this up here because they are giving them away to military families until November 30th, 2007. You only pay postage, so they are worth a try.
Okay, I know it's close to the holidays and everyone is getting busier, but send me your comments. This week's question is:
How are you celebrating Thanksgiving this year?
I have to say this is one of the more fun holidays for me. I love cooking and miss having Thanksgiving at my own house, but it's certainly less work at Mom's! (Thanks, Mom!) When we were stationed at Quantico a few years ago I hosted Thanksgiving at my house. My rule has always been to bring anyone, especially if he or she is far from home and has no where else to go. This has always proved rewarding and lots of fun, but the year the corpsman piled into my house and "Ma'am'ed" me to death was probably my favorite so far. If any of you are reading, Happy Thanksgiving, gentlemen!
Enjoy your blessings.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Are there gremlins in my house?
As I waded through the toys and bits in my living room this morning, I began wondering if clutter reproduces itself. Does the missing Lego under the couch wink at the yellow dump truck across the room and make a date? Does the Harry Potter dvd invite the fake ketchup in the miniature kitchen up to the t.v. stand for coffee?
Delegation is definitely the key, especially when you work from home. How to actually do this is still a mystery to me. No, I’m not a control freak and have absolutely no desire to clean it all up by myself, but the half-job that is done when I order everyone to pick up the junk is annoying.
So it sits. (Ask my mother.) One day I will make enough to hire Merry Maids like I did when I was pregnant with my second child, but for now, I get to scream with pain daily as I step on another Matchbox car.
Is your house neat and tidy or does it look as if a gremlin ran through with 20 of his best buddies?
The main thing is to enjoy the family while they are here, for all too soon, my sons will be out in the world on their own. The house will be clean, but quiet, and I will long for the days of Matchbox cars and Legos under my couch.
Delegation is definitely the key, especially when you work from home. How to actually do this is still a mystery to me. No, I’m not a control freak and have absolutely no desire to clean it all up by myself, but the half-job that is done when I order everyone to pick up the junk is annoying.
So it sits. (Ask my mother.) One day I will make enough to hire Merry Maids like I did when I was pregnant with my second child, but for now, I get to scream with pain daily as I step on another Matchbox car.
Is your house neat and tidy or does it look as if a gremlin ran through with 20 of his best buddies?
The main thing is to enjoy the family while they are here, for all too soon, my sons will be out in the world on their own. The house will be clean, but quiet, and I will long for the days of Matchbox cars and Legos under my couch.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Marrying The Family
I am on the hunt for blended military families. I want to know how they did it, what challenges they faced which were specific to military families, and any tips they may have for those trying to blend families with children while serving in the military. Do you know anyone? Send me their name and e-mail, but make sure to check with them first, and they may be featured in an article I am working on for a military-friendly publication. They can also be quoted anonymously if they prefer. It’s up to them. I just need to honest, direct information from those who have been through this challenging situation.
Blending a family has to be difficult enough, but when combined with a military lifestyle, I cannot imagine it. With the frequent moves, deployments, and general demands of being part of a military family, children have a lot to deal with it. Add to it that mom or dad is marrying a member of the military, and all bets are off.
So if you can help, please contact me. I would like to produce an honest, informative article that may also help others. While you're looking for that e-mail address, check out 4 Military Families. It's a great site dedicated to informing the military spouse.
To all of our service members, military spouses, families, and veterans: thank you for your service to our country.
Blending a family has to be difficult enough, but when combined with a military lifestyle, I cannot imagine it. With the frequent moves, deployments, and general demands of being part of a military family, children have a lot to deal with it. Add to it that mom or dad is marrying a member of the military, and all bets are off.
So if you can help, please contact me. I would like to produce an honest, informative article that may also help others. While you're looking for that e-mail address, check out 4 Military Families. It's a great site dedicated to informing the military spouse.
To all of our service members, military spouses, families, and veterans: thank you for your service to our country.
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